The Next Joe Millionaire (2003)

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This will be seen as one of the great underappreciated TV shows of the 00's. This Texas guy who can say little more than "really amazing", "great", "I feel like we've gotten really a lot closer," and "a guy couldn't hope for a nicer girl than you," gets to go out with a bevy of European girls who are forced to speak English, even though they just barely know how. They all get terrific gifts and go home. Meanwhile, we get to see the Texas guy ride a horse and take his shirt off, and romp around northern Italy. One girl, Linda, from "Czech" (as the Texan says), has to go back to Texas and live on a ranch. She gets $250,000 and the Texan gets a ranch.

A subtext on the place of materialism and surface beauty in world culture runs throughout the piece. The characters all seem to believe that what they are feeling is not horniness, but is some deep feeling called "love." They see the world as a tapestry lain out for them to frolic in, not as a real environment where real people live. It's scathing and hilarious and will live forever–I suggest it be a midnight movie and that the dialog, such as it is, be turned into a play.

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